Introduction
To honour Mental Health Awareness Week, I wanted to share my story.
Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness and apprehension. It can affect people in many different ways, from mild to severe. In this article I will be talking about my experience with anxiety and how I overcame it.
I have probably experienced anxiety for most of my life. I realise that now only with the benefit of hindsight. When I was first became aware of how I was feeling, it was already way out of control.
My Story
May 14th 2014. It was a normal working day. On the face of it, there should have been nothing to make me feel anxious and yet when the phone rang, I had a sinking feeling in my stomach. The call was from a colleague who started the conversation in the usual way by asking “how are you?”
My customary reply, “yes, I’m great” formed in my head. And it just sat there, stubbornly refusing to make progress towards my lips. I can still recall the internal dialogue – just say the words….why don’t you just say you are ok?….. why can’t you say you’re ok?……because you’re not ok…..oh hell, I’m really not ok.
And just like that, I broke. The weight of the constant anxiety I had unknowingly been carrying for several years came to the surface all at once. I hung up the phone and wept.
Uncontrollably.
I really don’t know how long I sat there, feeling alone, lost and a failure.
The Turning Point
The inner dialogue continued and eventually, I accepted that I needed help. Accepted that for once, I couldn’t do it all on my own. The first person I called was my partner – for me the simple act of admitting that I wasn’t coping was in itself cathartic but it would take more than that to put me back together. My partner wanted me to call the GP and of course they were right.
The GP was great, I was seen the same day and signed off work. We discussed the benefit of talking therapies but there was a five month wait. She told me that my anxiety levels were high and she wanted me to try some medication, but I refused as I wanted to know that what I was feeling were my feelings and not those “given” to me by the drug. Instead, she suggested mindfulness meditation as an alternative way of dealing with my anxiety.
I decided to give it a go and started doing daily meditation sessions at home while listening to a guided audio track called ‘Headspace’. It wasn’t long before I felt calmer than ever before – so much so that after three months of meditating every day for 10 minutes before bedtime (and sometimes during the day), my symptoms had almost disappeared completely!
Mindfulness
Mindfulness is a mental state of being aware of one’s surroundings and the present moment. It can be practised through meditation and other techniques, but it’s also something that can be brought into every day life.
When I was having trouble with my anxiety, mindfulness helped me cope with my symptoms by allowing me to focus on the present moment instead of worrying about things in the future or past that may never happen (or have already happened). Mindfulness allows you to focus on your thoughts and emotions without judgment. It helps you be present in the moment, so that when you’re feeling anxious, instead of being caught up in the past or future, you can stay grounded in the here-and-now.
My Recovery
To overcome anxiety, I made lifestyle changes. I started walking regularly and being outside with nature as much as possible. These changes helped me feel more relaxed and confident in my day-to-day life. I returned to work after 10 weeks but with a plan.
With the support of my partner, I left behind a job which was no longer conducive to good mental health and we relocated to Wester Ross. I don’t walk as much now but do enjoy spending time in the garden – it’s a place I can be at one with nature. I continue to be mindful of the present. Tomorrow will take care of itself.
I will always have episodes of increased anxiety. Recognising and accepting this is part of navigating my way through – it is part of my recovery. I don’t judge myself for having anxiety, I just recognise it, accept it and live in the moment.
My Advice
If you are experiencing anxiety, I would firstly like to say that it’s okay. Anxiety is a natural part of being human, but for some people it can become overwhelming and debilitating. If this is the case for you, then take comfort in knowing there are many ways out of it – whether that involves medication or talking therapies or just time and patience.
I would also like to encourage you not to give up hope: one day soon things will get better! The most important thing when dealing with anxiety is recognising the signs and symptoms early on so that they don’t escalate into something more serious (like depression). If this sounds familiar then try these tips:
- Keep track of how often your anxiety flares up – write down what happened before each attack so that over time we can see if there was any pattern or trigger point where they started happening more frequently than usual;
- Try not to isolate yourself from friends/family as much as possible;
- Don’t let others’ opinions affect how much confidence they have in themselves.
Conclusion
I’m not sure if I’ve ever been more proud of myself than when I was able to admit that something was wrong with me and ask for help. That was my moment of strength. Not all the occasions when I thought I was being strong by just battling through. It took me years to get there, but once I did, things got better faster than I could have imagined.
If you’re suffering from anxiety, please don’t hesitate to seek help. There are so many great resources out there – therapists who specialise in anxiety disorders, support groups, books and podcasts that can help guide you through the process of getting better. GALE has a number of services you can access. All the details can be found below.
Today is May 14th 2024, ten years since I “went over the edge”. I am imperfect and I am perfectly ok with that. This week is Mental Health Awareness Week, so I’m going to say don’t worry about being “weak” or “crazy.” Just know that whatever is going on inside your head isn’t your fault; it’s just part of being human!
And remember: You are not alone!
Resources
What is Counselling & How Can It Help?
Counselling falls under the umbrella term ‘talking therapies’ and allows people to discuss their problems and any difficult feelings they encounter in a safe, confidential environment.
The term can mean different things to different people, but in general, it is a process people seek when they want to change something in their lives, or simply explore their thoughts and feelings in more depth.
Counselling can help you to:
Feel better about yourself if you’re struggling with difficult emotions such as low self-esteem, anger or negative thoughts.
Help you with your mental health, such as stress, anxiety and depression.
Improve and help with relationship issues or a relationship breakdown.
Cope better with a difficult change or event in your life such as a bereavement or going through the menopause.
Help you to make important life changes such as addiction recovery, abstinence and eating disorders.
Help you to understand any identity issues.
Help you recover from past trauma, abuse and PTSD
What is Befriending and How Can It Help?
BefriendingGALE is a volunteer befriending service available in our area through the fantastic partnership between Highland Hospice Helping Hands and GALE Action Forum.
It offers support to people at home, who have been identified as needing help, either by the local NHS teams or friends and family.
The volunteer provides social and practical support in an informal way. The amount of time and activities will vary but every volunteer will provide a friendly ear to listen as well as extra assistance to help reduce anxiety and stress for individuals and carers.
What is LT4U and How Can It Help?
The Gale Centre are delighted to be working in partnership with Listen Well Scotland in delivering a one-to-one Listening Service with Registered Listener’s in the Gairloch and Loch Ewe Area. They are offering the Listening service as part of a range of opportunities to meet different needs- Counselling, Befriending, Supported Volunteering, and now Listening. They hope to make a positive impact on mental health and wellbeing, shaping the community to be a better place for people of all ages and abilities to live, work, and thrive.
